Attitude Adjustment for Online Dating
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How's Your Online Dating Attitude?
Let’s face it, dating comes with some rejection. Ultimately, attraction between two people evolves through a plethora of factors (looks, sight, sound, smell) that stir up positive emotions or feelings. First impressions are created within a blink of time, and if something about your first impression stirs up negative or neutral feelings your connection opportunity is most often doomed.
An online profile offers only a tiny slice of who you are. A picture of can’t relay your musical laugh, or the softness of your skin. An online biography can’t fully depict your resiliency, or passion for people.
You can’t possible get top billing on everyone’s “ideal partner” list. Your beautiful smile may remind them of the nasty girl who rejected them for the homecoming date in senior high. Your bald head may bring to mind Kojak (hot) or grandpa (not so hot). They may be passionate about dancing so your mention of two left feet doesn’t fit into their future partner plans.
Should this be reason to fear rejection around every corner and hide away? Absolutely not! Instead this creates a positive challenge and awareness. Challenge yourself to present your most positive self in your online profiles. Be aware that rejection is part of the game so you don’t let it knock down your self esteem.
I’ve been rejected lots of times. In fact, I’ve had correspondence with guys who stopped writing once they viewed my picture. Did it hurt? Sure, there a tinge of pain when realize that I didn’t fit a guy’s physical ideal (after all, we’d all like to be adored by everyone). But, although I know I am attractive, I also know that I am not attractive to everyone. So, for whatever reason, this wasn’t a match for him. I say God Bless him and move on to the right guy.
It’s always a great idea to update your profile. Change wording around a bit. Be certain you are speaking with a positive voice. For example, list qualities you want such as: sense of humor and a love for dogs instead of qualities you don’t like such as: a liar and a cheater. Seriously, who hopes to hook up with a big cheating liar? Review your picture and words to make certain they reflect your best self.
But most importantly, get your head in the right place before you begin online dating. Decide that it is will a fun enterprise. Focus on your opportunity to meet new people and have new experience rather than on meeting your soul mate. This will make the adventure a lot more fun and exciting.
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Amy Dee-Kristensen, The Truth Fairy of Personal Development. I am a Motivational Humorist Speaker, and a psychiatric nurse. I lived in Norway for many years as a married mother and business woman. When my marriage ended, I returned to the United States with our children to start life over. I went to nursing school at the age of forty three, I renovated a 100 year old "crack house" and have been on fire for life every since. Thriving as single mother and a woman is my specialty.
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Great advice. If ony we could all be as objective as you are.