We are lucky enough to have a guest post by Dr. Eva Mor. First learn a little about this remarkable woman.

     For the last 23 years Dr. Mor has dedicated her career to bettering the lives of the elderly.  She has done so through work in nursing homes, chronic disease institutions, and acute care hospitals, as well as in home care services. She has been part of planning committees for the improvement of health services for seniors, and has done research to find out what services are available for this specific population, and what should be developed in the future.

 With that in mind Dr. Mor set out to write the book MAKING the GOLDEN YEARS GOLDEN. The book brings to you, with much love and care, the information you need for yourself and those dear to you, in order to make the golden years truly golden.

 You can visit her website here: Making the Golden Years Golden – www.goldenyearsgolden.com

When to step in and help your parents By Dr. Eva Mor – author of “Making the Golden Years Golden”   Today, some 15 million children already care for elderly parents, but this care is provided mostly in a fragmented manner and as a response to an emergency occurrence, such as a fall or an acute medical event.       

 We, as children, are reluctant to step in and take over the handling of our parents’ affairs, and are happy to push the time as far into the future as possible, until we have no choice but to act.  It is difficult to decide when it’s the right time to sit down with your parents and go over financial issues, safety issues, and planning for their senior years, without your parents thinking that you are interfering with their lives. You need to make it clear to them that you are not after their money and possessions. Such a conversation needs to take place, should be brought up early, and even happen a few times so as to become less threatening. The conversation should be respectful to the elder, and on their terms.  

So, the most difficult question is, when do you step in?      Early planning gives both you and your parents’ control of their situation. As our parents grow old, our roles slowly reverse; we become the care givers and they become dependent and needy. The initial stages creep up almost unnoticed, as our parent starts slipping in behavior or physical In general they seem to be doing okay, functioning in his or her daily routines.  As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, if we are unprepared, the first sign of trouble will be some emergency that will force us to step in and react to that event. Unplanned reactions tend to be costly. For example, if your parent falls and sustains a fracture, that will require time spent in rehabilitation. If you are not familiar with such facilities in the area that your parent lives in, it may be difficult to start research on such facilities and compare cost. Planning ahead and being knowledgeable on such issues will help you and your parent if the need presents itself. The decline happens in stages:

Here are the signs when you need to begin to consider stepping in:

• Deterioration of personal hygiene
• Unpaid bills, unopened mail
• Carpets stained with food
• Trouble remembering recent events
• Change of eating habits
• Misplacing objects
• Inability to remember if medication was taken or not
• Unexplained bruises
• Frequent calls to you or others
• During the next stage, the severity of the symptoms escalates, and your parent needs immediate involvement of a caregiver:
• Odors in the house
• Urine stained carpet
• Noticeable weight gain or loss
• Skin tears or bruises
• Repetitive phone calls at odd times
• Inability to recall how the day was spent
• Offensive mouth odor
• Medication bottle either too full or too empty
• Final notices on bills
• Unexplained dents on the car

If you notice the symptoms above you have to step in before it is too late.

You will need to find the right time to sit down and talk to your parent.  The following points should be considered:

Have your parent evaluated professionally, medically, and mentally to make sure a proper diagnosis is made, and appropriate treatment is in place. Home care should be set up if needed, either by the family or paid help.

 Write down all of your parents’ financial assets, all their insurance policies, real estate holdings, bank accounts, and safe combinations. Familiarize yourself with the content of all documents. Make copies of all relevant documents and place them in a different location, perhaps in your siblings’ house, for safekeeping.

 Make sure that all original documents are kept in one place, and the place is known to you, or to someone else your parent trusts.

Make sure that all documents that are time-sensitive are periodically updated. Make sure that the Living Will reflects your parent’s wishes, and includes what should be done for them if they are unable to make decisions for themselves.

Review all life, health, car or property insurance and make sure that they are all in effect, and that they cover whatever they are covering to the max. You may be surprised how many elderly people are paying for policies they no longer need.

 Make sure you are aware of your parent’s monthly expenses, and that they are paid on time. Elderly people commonly misplace bills, do not open them, or pay the same bill twice.

 Encourage your parents to speak about, or to write down if it is easier, what their wishes

are regarding the topic of funeral and burial. It may help to bring a third party into the equation; a friend, priest, rabbi, a financial advisor, or other person. At times it is easier to express oneself to a stranger than to your child, regarding one’s own death.

Even as the roles of parent and child reverse themselves in later years, we can carry out the task while continuing to recognize the fact that they are our parents. We should not make them feel childish, or that they are unable to care for themselves. We should promote a sense of dignity and self-respect in our parents and help them to know that their life is of value even though they may need help from others to maintain their everyday routines.

MAKING THE GOLDEN YEARS GOLDEN by Dr. Eva Mor

For more info:

www.goldenyearsgolden.com

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What is the Sandwich Generation? If you have not heard this term before, you can go right to the source and look at SandwichGeneration.com. It refers to late baby boomers (myself) and early Gen Xers. (Yeah, we know – sometimes that is called Generation Jones) who are caring for aging parents while still caring for kids at home. That includes many of us!

Anyway, let me get away from defining popular terms for different generations and back to the proposed tax changes. These proposals should be announced in President Obama’s State of the Union Address tomorrow (1/27/10).

According the New York Times, we may get help in a couple of areas.

Increased Child Care Tax Credit – The proposal may almost double this valuable credit for families that make less than $85,000. This is more incentive for both parents to go back to work, and it should help working families pay bills. This should be popular for families with younger kids.  I know that when my own kids were young, before child care tax credits, about 1/3 of my net income went for child care.

Cap on College Loan Payments – This would cap college loan paymets to no more than 10% of income, and that is above a basic living allowance. This can help those of us who help our kids pay back loans, and of course, put less strain on graduating seniors.

Elder Care – If you spend money on caring for an elderly family member, you may get some help too. President Obama wants to provide more funding for adult care services from the Department of Health and Human Services. 

Retirement Savings – The proposal would make the credits open to more people. More savers would get a tax credit for contributing to an IRA or 401(K).  This should encourage savings and reduce reliance on social security for many of us.

When is the State of The Union Address?

The State of the Union Address for 2010 is slated to start at 9 p.m. Eastern Time, 8 p.m. Central Time, and 6 p.m. Pacific Time on Wednesday, Jan. 27, 2010. You can watch on any major network. You can also watch online at: http://www.whitehouse.gov/live

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Are you searching for a way to make your golden years even better? Then consider enhancing it with a loyal companion. Having a loving pet by your side can help you live a longer, healthier life. This isn’t a myth or superstition and there have been many studies done to prove they do make a difference. One of these studies showed that when you’re rubbing your dog or cat endorphins are released throughout your body. This hormone has been proven to help make you calm and relaxed.

When you’re relaxed, you feel less stressed and your blood pressure and heart rate are much lower. This in turn, means less doctor visits and a healthier lifestyle. Not only is having a pet believed to make a significant change in your lifespan but they can also make a difference in how fast you recover from medical problems. For example, people with pets who are recovering from surgery tend to recover faster than those who don’t have a pet.

A friendly and loving pet naturally brings out the nurturing instincts of a person and gives them reason to recover faster and live longer. They need you and you have a desire to be there for them as long as you can. Their unconditional love helps to improve the quality of life and make you feel better about yourself. This type of love and companionship is sure to make your golden years even better.

How to Stay Healthy

One of the biggest problems senior citizens face is depression and loneliness. This is due to the fact that most seniors live by themselves. Depression can lower your immune system making you more susceptible to diseases and destroy your self-esteem. However, when you have a loyal companion by your side they can help to reduce these feeling and improve your health in the process.

Dogs can also make you feel more secure and safe in your home. Living alone can produce panic and fear in the strongest person. A dog can warn you of intruders and give you a feeling of security and you don’t need a trained guard dog for this. Any breed of dog and size can make a great watch dog. There’s very little that will escape their keen sense of hearing and they will bark to let you know something is wrong.

When it comes to motivation to get out of the house and feel the wind on your face, your dog can be a great inspiration. These loyal companions need exercise and they are depending on you to give it to them. This means that you have to get out and exercise while walking them around the block or when you take them to the park. It gives you a reason to move around more and this in turn helps to improve your health.

Research has shown that seniors with pets are normally healthier than those who don’t own a dog or cat. When you consider all the benefits these loyal and charming companions have to offer, it’s easy to see why. Some believe that certain dog breeds can tell when their owners are experiencing health problems such as the onset of epileptic seizers, low blood sugar levels in people that are diabetic and even the beginning of some types of cancer. Even though there have been cases where a dog sensed the signs of certain medical conditions, make sure you always keep up with your regular check-ups.

Special Friendships Can Be Therapeutic

Hospitals and nursing homes have learned that a visit from the local animal shelter can do wonders for their patients. Almost all nursing homes will allow pets for this reason. It makes the patients feel better and speeds up the healing process. Many therapists will even suggest you have a pet to help you exercise and aid in the healing process.

Alzheimer patients can benefit from having a pet by their side. When they don’t recognize anyone else in the room and they are feeling alone and depressed, the pet can give them an unconditional love they feel and need at this difficult time.

Most senior citizens have lost their partners by this time leaving a void that is impossible to fill or they are dealing with the sickness of the one they love or their own medical condition. This can make the golden years hard and difficult to deal with. But pets can brighten any room and give new hope and inspiration that seniors need when going through these situations.

It’s possible for a pet to help save or at least prolong a person’s life by helping them deal with the stress and problems life dishes out. Many times having a friend by your side at all times is enough to make a difference and you can rest assured your pet will be there for you.

Steps on How to Adopt a Dog

Adopting a dog is a fairly easy process but there are some things that you need to consider. Different breeds have different personalities that make them unique. Some can be much more aggressive than others so you need to learn a little about the dog before adopting them.

The size of your home is also important when choosing the right dog. They need room to walk around easy because a lot of the exercise they get is done indoors. Some apartments and condominiums will only allow dogs that weigh twenty pounds or less so you need to find out if there are any restrictions where you live.

The main thing for you to remember is that dogs can be your best friend who helps you through some of the most difficult times in your life. They are always there to provide you with love, entertainment and to help you get the exercise you need to stay healthy and live longer.

The Author

John Bolt lives in Cambridge a charming town an hour’s drive away from Toronto, Canada. He lives with his wife Carolee and his mini goldendoodle Daly. John’s the publisher of http://www.goldendoodletime.com a website that provides great information about good crate training, behaviour tips, travel dog crates, grooming help etc. Check it out today.

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